Trigger Warning: homophobia, bullying
narrator
they walk through the halls
their hands intertwined
his rings touching their fingers
as he grasps tighter
his hands trembling
because he’s afraid
they both are
one is viewed as stronger
because they aren’t sensitive
don’t flinch at the words
yet is still holding back tears
they receive looks
whispers
glances
scoffs
narrowed eyes
insults flow through the air
as easily as a river
crashing against the shore
of their minds
they try to ignore them
but it’s difficult
when they’re hurled
directly at them
pitched as fast
as a baseball
sometimes
they absorb the words
believe them
accept them
the damage gets done
bullets to their relationship
arrows piercing their connection
just a few words
can change everything
can ruin something
so beautiful
perceived as wrong
monstrous
revolting
outrageous
but is really just
a love like any other
a promise yet to be broken
he’s slipping
falling
drowning
hurting
scrambling
to cling on
to a lifeless thread
eventually
it breaks
he breaks
physically he’s fine
but mentally he’s bruised
he can’t do it anymore
the voices in his head
tell him he’s not enough
that he’s a freak
an outcast
that he doesn’t deserve
to be here on this planet
he’s tried to ignore them
to block them out
with his own attempts
at internal reassurance
he’s begged them to leave him
prayed for them to leave
but he knows they will stay
stay in his mind
stay in his soul
invite themselves in
without permission
to destroy everything good
he’s ever had
when the insults and slurs
are hurled at them
he doesn’t fight back
he holds his breath
bites his tongue
scrunches his eyes closed
he knows if he sees them
if he looks up at them
instead of down
at his stained sneakers
he will cry
instead he tries
over and over again
to reassure himself
you’ll be alright
what if i’m not?
he doesn’t want
to answer that question
too afraid of the response
the whole world judges him
for something he cannot control
it’s not fair
i can’t help it
i didn’t do anything wrong
he wants to yell at them
to scream at them
nearby
someone whispers
a single word
that he dreads hearing
and he knows
in that moment
he can’t do this anymore
he opens his mouth
he stammers
his lips move up and down
but the words he needs to say
won’t come out
his confidence disappeared
with the first look he received
now he’s just a cracked shell
of the person he used to be
why can’t they
leave me alone
why do i get
discriminated against
not just me
avery too
why are we called out
for a love like any other
what’s different about it
what’s wrong
he wonders
he has to get out of there
before he breaks
in front of them
he releases his grip
on his partner’s hand
he runs through
the crowded hallway
past the teachers
the students
his friends
his enemies
he shoves the door open
stumbles on his way out
breathes in the fresh air
he jumps over the steps
his shoes landing
on the soft grass
he positions his bag
over his shoulder
and he runs
he runs
he doesn’t stop
because he knows
there’s nowhere left for him
he’ll give them
more to talk about
but he doesn’t care anymore
he was once a golden boy
bright as sunshine
he offered them his flame
his spark of life
but they drenched it in water
and crushed the match
beneath their shoes
now he’s as dark
as the night sky
who’s lost its stars.