As soon as I hear my alarm go off, it all becomes real. Summer is over, or at least it feels that way since school is starting. I groan and roll out of bed. I grab the first sweatshirt I see and throw it over my head. This leads me to trip over one of my flip flops that I have yet to put away from camp, which makes me even more upset. Don’t get me wrong, I like school, but I don’t understand why we haven’t moved past the idea that we should be starting class at 7:30 AM. Waking up at six in the morning when you’ve been getting up at noon every day is a bit of an adjustment.
It feels so weird to be able to say that I’m in high school now. I know I definitely don’t look like a high schooler; I’m only five feet tall. New year, new school, new me. Last year, I only had Iris. We’ve been friends since Kindergarten, but she’s changed since then. She now wears crop tops and makeup. I wear sweatpants and sneakers. There’s a difference. I guess it’s nice to know someone for the first few days, but I don’t feel like I really know Iris anymore.
“The bus is here, Bailey! You wouldn’t want to miss it on your first day. That would be such a shame.”
I hurry down the stairs, lunch in one hand, binder in the other. I kiss Mom on the cheek and run out the door. I see the same old yellow school bus with the same old “smile you’re on camera” sign. I see Iris sitting in the second to last row, and as soon as I make it to the back of the bus, I notice there’s a girl sitting next to her. Since we were little, we have always sat together. I don’t understand what’s going on with her. I decide to sit across from them.
“Hi, Iris! How was your summer?” I try to sound cheerful even though I feel a bit queasy.
She slowly turns her head to make eye contact with me and says, “Oh, hey. You know, same old. Camp, family trip to Lake Tahoe, and now school. How about you?”
“I also went to camp, and it was really fun! When that was done, I–” Iris has completely stopped listening and starts whispering in Mystery Girl’s ear. If this is what it’s going to be like, I’m not looking forward to this year. The two girls then start giggling, and I almost lose it, but I choose to listen to some music instead.
When we arrive at school, I don’t even bother saying hi to the few familiar faces. Instead, I go directly to my homeroom and take out a book. A teacher walks up to me and smiles sweetly.
“Hi, I’m Ms. Avery. What’s that you’re reading?”
“Oh, um, hi. I’m Bailey, and this is The Fault in Our Stars,” I explain, forcing a smile.
“What a beautiful choice. Happy reading!” Her long skirt swooshes as she walks out of the door and into the hallway of buzzing students.
The bell soon rings, and students pour into the classroom. A boy and a girl are forced to sit at my table since the rest of the seats are taken. I see Iris from across the room. She’s sitting with the popular kids. I mean, you can just tell. They all carry purses instead of backpacks, they wear perfume, and they gossip, like all the time. Poor Iris, I think.
The day goes by really fast. Teachers go over what we’re going to be learning this year and the fire drill procedure. The only part of the day that seems to never end is lunch. I couldn’t just sit at any table since I knew I didn’t want to sit with the Populars, or Jocks, or the Chess Nerds. I was out of options, out of luck. It felt like such a cliché, all the stupid cliques. I mean, why are popular people popular in the first place? Is it because they’re mean? Or because they don’t turn in any assignments which makes them so cool? I honestly don’t get it, but it seems like that’s the way it has always been.
When I get home from school, I do all of my homework right away, so I can finish reading my book. The end makes me cry. I’m already sad, so I think of Iris, and that makes me cry even harder.
A week goes by and nothing changes. I tell Mom everything, and she says It will all work out. I promise. How can you make a promise like that to a 14-year-old? It has only been a week, and I feel awful. Why does no one tell you that high school sucks?
In homeroom, a new kid, Daniel, sits in front of me, and he pulls out The Fault in Our Stars.
Before I know it, I’m talking to him. “Hey! I’m Bailey. How do you like your book? I just finished reading it.”
“Haha, I know your name, Bailey. Unlike the others,” he says pointing at the Jocks, “I actually pay attention. And, the book is really good. It’s sad, but sometimes sad is good.”
This makes me smile. I turn around and notice that Iris is actually watching me. She slowly shakes her head before getting pulled away by one of her new friends.
Thank you Julia. Real. Wise.