(Vecteezy)
I am sure that all of us at least once have had to join a new community full of unknown faces. I, for example, have studied in six different schools, and joining a new class became a common occurrence for me. But despite the many times I have had to move schools, I never quite gotten used to it: every time I am entering a new hallway, with sweaty hands and a shaking body, I am terrified to talk to anybody. Of course, there are people who are less scared of interacting with new people than I am, but you will definitely agree that in some cases there is a tendency of being afraid of communication.
Wait, wait, wait, hold on! I also remember how since elementary school, I was always told that “humans are social species”, which is certainly true. Why are we then sometimes afraid of having a conversation with each other?
Well, to answer this question we will have to glance back at our ancestors. There is evidence from about 2 million years ago that early humans transported stone materials up to 12 km to a site in Kanjera, Kenya, where they used those materials to make tools for butchering animals (Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History). This openly suggests the development of early group survival; and this makes a lot of sense, as working together makes life so much easier: people can share responsibilities based on their individual abilities, therefore increasing overall efficiency. So you see, people started grouping up because it was a “win-win situation” for them.
In contrast to modern societies, those groups were pretty small. Later, once agriculture became possible, the human population densities started to grow, because people could provide for themselves with a relatively consistent source of food staying at the same place. This growth kicked off the improvements in the scale of social organization (Richerson 1). Since then, not only did the population start to grow, but also communities began to become much, much more complex.
Coming back to the 21st century and our initial question: why are we afraid of communication if throughout human history it has always been beneficial for us? Perhaps it would make a lot of sense for human brains to adapt to constant interactions through evolution.
From how I see the world, by looking back at our history of evolution, the answer is shockingly simple. People have been interacting and communicating with each other a lot since a very long time ago, but, surprisingly or not, they rarely had to meet humans they did not know. The small groups of people were growing from within; additionally, there was no dependency on other communities like there is now, since nowadays states cannot become prosperous only using their inside resources (just compare the gross domestic product of North Korea and South Korea). In the past, societies were doing relatively fine by themselves. Only recently have communities started to intersect, often in the form of megacities with residents from a wide range of cultures. As you already know, centuries for us are instant for evolution, and we have not adapted yet.
In addition, in modern society we have a lot more to worry about than ancient humans did: thousands of years ago people did not wear any clothes and were feeling just fine, and now we have insecurities and a sense of shame. Due to the fear of societal judgement, we all enclose ourselves to some extent, and it makes us scared of communicating with people we don’t know. There is also a term called “learned phobia” (Seltzer), a reminder from our brain about past negative interaction experiences (for example, being laughed at because of sharing that you like a certain genre of music or film). This makes us worry about how people would react if we overshare who we really are because of what had happened prior. In other words, early humans were not overthinking it.
In summary, human societies grow much faster than evolution is capable of following up. We are changing at a very high rate – too fast for our brains to comprehend and adapt. As a result, rushed habits often become a problem for us.
Anyhow, our fear of talking to others is not an issue we have to frantically be trying to solve: it is pretty natural. First, evolution has to detect the need for change, and only then it can be applied. Maybe, some day our brains will adapt and communication will never be a problem anymore: we will be able to push past the discomfort and stop holding ourselves back.
We’re good, guys, this is not our fault, and there is nothing to worry about, right? Yes, for sure, but I bet next time I will be surrounded by people I haven’t seen before, my hands will get as sweaty as they have always been getting.
Bibliography:
(MLA citations)
1. “Human Characteristics: Social Life”. Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, January 3, 2024.
https://humanorigins.si.edu/human-characteristics/social-life
2. Richerson, Peter J., and Robert Boyd. “Institutional evolution in the holocene: the rise of complex societies”. April 2000.
https://sites.santafe.edu/~bowles/Holocene.pdf
3. Seltzer, Leon F. “Communication: The Universal Phobia”. June 29, 2008.
4. Vecteezy.