I wished for you.
We practice our dances for the musical in your room.
The mermaids from Neverland draw me in closer.
An arm suddenly emerges from the water
Grabs my flesh and pulls--
I have an illness--perhaps the mumps.
I have been absent from two whole weeks of school,
And I scream into my pillow because
I am missing your birthday party.
I lie in bed, mad at being sick.
Tossing and turning, trying to erase the image
Of everyone making friendship bracelets,
Decorating sweet, pastel cupcakes.
5th graders run around on the playground.
Kites with post-it note wishes almost touch the sun.
Kids with sticky fingers desperately try to get their wishes to fall off,
So they come true.
Wishes for dresses, candy, friends drop like foliage.
Yet my wish sticks to the kite
As though the wind is crying,
You chose the wrong wish.
There were tears in bathroom stalls,
Daily exclusions,
Judgy stares,
And power moves.
I should have known from the beginning
That my desire to be in was blocking my judgment.
I should have known you were exploiting my insecurity,
That I had it all wrong when
I wished for you.
