olivia
the boy spoke to me
for the first time yesterday
his name is caleb
his voice was soft
but maybe that’s because
he’s used to speaking
in a low tone
to not draw attention
he didn’t try and continue
our short interaction
didn’t say anything else
just nodded at me
but
it’s a start
certainly more
than i expected
i think
he forgave me
i think
he’s going to give me
a chance
as i walk to school
my mind swirls
like a tornado
broken bits and pieces
of my thoughts
spinning throughout it
i arrive
my eyes
find him at once
they’re drawn to him
like a magnet to metal
today
he doesn’t look
like he’s given up
he looks like
he’s found a clue
to the treasure
he’s been searching for
for all of his life
dare i say
that there’s
a hint of a smile
on his face
as he approaches me?
he seems unfamiliar
with the idea
that he can feel happiness
like anyone else
maybe he’s been told
that he doesn’t deserve it
maybe
i should stop
assuming things
about this stranger
before i know him
i tell myself
he comes up to me
“hey”
he says
for a minute
i forget how to speak
“hi”
i manage
shocked that this boy
would voluntarily
come up to me
after what i said
after i broke his trust
something that he barely
had scraps of
to begin with
i realize i’m staring
and tell myself to stop
i can’t scare him away
not now
i want to reach out
and touch him
see if he’s real
comfort him
talk to him
but i can’t
not yet
he fidgets
playing with his hands
he’s nervous
he doesn’t know
what to say
“so..”
i say
he startles
“so, um..”
he says
“i just wanted to..”
he shuffles his feet
looking at the ground
“to thank you”
he mumbles
“for defending me”
he looks at me
his numb eyes
full of yearning
as i look at them closer
i notice
he has flecks of gold
within them
hidden behind
his dark lashes
i’m taken aback
by his words
but i won’t show it
what happened last night
to change this boy
into such a different person?
trying to act composed
i tell him
“it’s no problem
no one else
would have done it”
he nods in agreement
“no one ever has
until you”
the corners
of his lips raise
when he says you
blink and you would miss it
but i swear he looked at me
with happiness in his eyes
for just a fragment of a second
i swear his moon eyes lit up
shining with light
of the sun perhaps
but it almost looks like
it’s his own light
created to cover up
his demons
and i know
he will be beautiful
when he smiles
“i’m sorry”
i say tentatively
he shrugs
“what can you do”
i can do
whatever you need
even if you’ll refuse
to admit that you need it
i want to tell him
but i can’t
“well”
i tell him
“i hope it gets better”
he looks at me
before he turns to walk away
“i have a feeling it will”
he almost forms a smile
he contains it
but i can see it
“bye, caleb”
i whisper
once he’s gone
i never thought
i’d get this far with him
within a day
but life is full of surprises
you never know
what will happen next.