{"id":861,"date":"2023-04-28T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-28T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/?p=861"},"modified":"2023-04-27T19:01:55","modified_gmt":"2023-04-27T19:01:55","slug":"our-colliding-orbits-chapter-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/?p=861","title":{"rendered":"Our Colliding Orbits: Chapter 4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

olivia<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

that first day was certainly interesting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

after finding the right bus <\/p>\n\n\n\n

and getting lost on my way home,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

i fumble with the lock <\/p>\n\n\n\n

and collapse onto my couch<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

i don\u2019t get a minute of rest<\/p>\n\n\n\n

before my brother <\/p>\n\n\n\n

crashes into the room<\/p>\n\n\n\n

jumping on top of me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

my mother right behind him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201colive!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

he shouts in excitement <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cguess what we did today\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

i can\u2019t help but smile<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and ask him what<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

my brother is easy to love <\/p>\n\n\n\n

with his wide grin<\/p>\n\n\n\n

still lacking his front teeth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

big amber eyes <\/p>\n\n\n\n

milk chocolate hair <\/p>\n\n\n\n

and energy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

that only an eight-year-old <\/p>\n\n\n\n

can possess<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

the scent of spices<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hits me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

when i walk <\/p>\n\n\n\n

into the kitchen<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

my father<\/p>\n\n\n\n

sprinkling oregano <\/p>\n\n\n\n

red pepper flakes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

into a pan <\/p>\n\n\n\n

full of chopped <\/p>\n\n\n\n

onion and garlic<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he pours in tomato<\/p>\n\n\n\n

from a can <\/p>\n\n\n\n

and rips up basil <\/p>\n\n\n\n

placing it on top<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he swirls the sauce <\/p>\n\n\n\n

in the pan <\/p>\n\n\n\n

reminding me <\/p>\n\n\n\n

of my thoughts <\/p>\n\n\n\n

about the boy <\/p>\n\n\n\n

all swirling in my head<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he uses a wooden spoon <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to stir it all together <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to create something magical <\/p>\n\n\n\n

that fits together <\/p>\n\n\n\n

like puzzle pieces<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

every ingredient of it <\/p>\n\n\n\n

combines together <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to create something <\/p>\n\n\n\n

that everyone will love<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

in the back of my mind<\/p>\n\n\n\n

i wonder if the boy has ever had <\/p>\n\n\n\n

something as magical as that<\/p>\n\n\n\n

something that works<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

whether it\u2019s platonic <\/p>\n\n\n\n

romantic or familial<\/p>\n\n\n\n

clearly he\u2019s had a lack of love<\/p>\n\n\n\n

even if it takes him forever to admit<\/p>\n\n\n\n

he knows he needs it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he\u2019s had so much <\/p>\n\n\n\n

taken away from him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

in his short life<\/p>\n\n\n\n

any drop of happiness <\/p>\n\n\n\n

snatched away from him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

any bit of serenity <\/p>\n\n\n\n

hidden by his numb exterior<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he takes out his pain <\/p>\n\n\n\n

on himself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

he\u2019s given up<\/p>\n\n\n\n

trying to give it <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to anyone else<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

he needs so much help<\/p>\n\n\n\n

help that i want to give him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

help that i know he won\u2019t accept <\/p>\n\n\n\n

as long as a mask <\/p>\n\n\n\n

is still covering his past<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and his life <\/p>\n\n\n\n

as long as he still <\/p>\n\n\n\n

refuses to open up<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

you would have to rip it off<\/p>\n\n\n\n

prying until you fall backward<\/p>\n\n\n\n

scratch around the sides <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to remove the glue <\/p>\n\n\n\n

plastered across his face<\/p>\n\n\n\n

that keeps his mask up<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

in order to <\/p>\n\n\n\n

see just a glimpse <\/p>\n\n\n\n

of vulnerability<\/p>\n\n\n\n

opposed to his numb exterior<\/p>\n\n\n\n

an explanation <\/p>\n\n\n\n

of his trauma<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

i want to offer him <\/p>\n\n\n\n

companionship <\/p>\n\n\n\n

reach out in a way <\/p>\n\n\n\n

he has never <\/p>\n\n\n\n

experienced before<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

or maybe he has<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

maybe he had <\/p>\n\n\n\n

reassurance<\/p>\n\n\n\n

comfort<\/p>\n\n\n\n

solace<\/p>\n\n\n\n

love <\/p>\n\n\n\n

but lost it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

i don\u2019t know why <\/p>\n\n\n\n

i\u2019m so drawn to this boy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

when i\u2019ve known him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 for less than a day<\/p>\n\n\n\n

maybe it\u2019s my need <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to solve every problem <\/p>\n\n\n\n

before they start<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

maybe it\u2019s the way<\/p>\n\n\n\n

his face lit up with surprise<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and just a flicker of hope<\/p>\n\n\n\n

when i defended him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

maybe the whisper of a smile<\/p>\n\n\n\n

that has such potential <\/p>\n\n\n\n

to be beautiful<\/p>\n\n\n\n

on his forever sullen lips<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the way the melancholy rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

surrounding him <\/p>\n\n\n\n

evaporated for just a moment<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

maybe i want to see <\/p>\n\n\n\n

if he has dimples <\/p>\n\n\n\n

when he laughs<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

i want to hear his voice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

when it\u2019s not full of darkness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

but in the end<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the reason doesn\u2019t matter<\/p>\n\n\n\n

because the truth is<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

if i don\u2019t help him<\/p>\n\n\n\n

no one else will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

olivia that first day was certainly interesting after finding the right bus  and getting lost on my way home, i fumble with the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":864,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-861","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/861","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=861"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/861\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":865,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/861\/revisions\/865"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/864"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=861"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=861"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blueandread.asbarcelona.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=861"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}